How many times have you been told that someone can’t do something when it is really a case of them just not wanting to?
My parents years ago when was growing up used to say… “Can’t can’t do anything but die.” So with that drilled into my head, I don’t accept people telling me that they “Can’t” do this or that.
I guess the reason this is coming to light is an incident that happened recently for me. I expected someone to get involved in something and they said that they “Can’t”.
What exactly is it that keeps people from getting involved? Is it a fear of being chastized? Is it a fear of getting physically hurt? Is it a fear of having someone telling you that you are no longer welcome around them because you disagree with their opinion?
Whatever the reasoning is, not getting involved is a contributing factor to the decay of society. When we don’t get involved, we let the bullies of the world run roughshot over the rest of us. How can we continue to let the bullies dictate what the rest of us do with our lives.
Is it a case of the fears we have from childhood haunt and control us the rest of our lives?
In writing this I am speaking out against the bullies of the world. Just because you helped someone with something, doesn’t mean you or your children have the right to dictate to that person what they should do.
No matter how your voice may fail when you speak because someone screams louder than you, your voice is never truly silenced. I have found this to be common especially among writers.
For those who have known me for a long time, you know I am a member of a very special group of women (and men). We are all writers. Many of us are married, some divorced. Most of us are parents or the support for parents of children that run the gambit from born yesterday to old enough to have nearly grown children of their own.
I will not go into detail as to how I became one of the “Divorced Mothers of…” as that is not the point of this post. What is the point? The point is two-fold. First we can never know exactly what is going on with someone unless they open up to us and are honest. Sometimes that honesty is so painful that it is difficult to express. Those who have walked the path I have walked will tell you a great deal about their experiences, when they are ready. My advice, be ready to listen as you might find you have a path to walk that is much easier than you first thought.
Secondly, if you have walked a hard path. Don’t be afraid to share that path with others. You can’t ever quite know what it means to someone to find out that they are not alone in facing adversity. Sharing often helps lessen your burden as well as it does not take as much energy to carry it when you aren’t having to keep it secret.
I won’t share in such a public forum what I went through in my life. This is neither the time nor the place for that to come to light. Suffice it to say I managed to avoid becoming one of the saddest statistics in society today. Those I have told, ask why didn’t I tell someone. I did. I told the police and they did nothing the first time, vilified me the second time and I was determined that I would not be the third strike statistic so I got out.
While I was in the situation, no one knew except those involved. When I finally got out, many who knew me still didn’t know. Wounds have to heal before you can speak without the emotion that naturally accompanies the path I traversed.
I can’t share at this time as there is a NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement) that covers the events of this story that will one day come to light. I won’t share it as I don’t want to be caught in the middle of some insanely frivolous argument over the validity of the events.
Bet you would read the book when it comes out, wouldn’t You?